Director: David Quitmeyer
Starring: Caroline Pierce, Corey Foxx, Roger Gobin, Torey Foxx,Terie
Trenchard, Craig Curlee, Jennie Olson.
Story: A desperate man turns to a mail order service to cure his recent streak
of loneliness. Soon thereafter, a perverse and horrific series of events begin to
There's so much more to the horror genre than we think. Movies are made
everyday by different people in different cities. There are so many low budget
movie companies out there. There's so much more than what you see in your
local mainstream theatre. If you want to see something different, you have to
look underground. Running a horror movie website has opened me up to a lot
of things. Whether it would be indie or foreign pictures, my taste for cinema
has grown. I learned to enjoy the simplicity of independent film. Last year I got
to check out a movie called Slaughter Disc. With its blend of blood, gore and
sex, it was no surprise that it ended up being one of my all time favorite
independent horror movies. The studio that brought us Slaughter Disc has
again surprised us with another great picture. Only this time it's a short feature
called Mail Order Bride. The first time I read up on the movie, I was sold. I've
been waiting for this since day one. Now that I got the chance to watch it, I'm
glad to say that Steel Web Studios has a very promising future ahead of them.
In the movie we follow a man named Steve. Steve is a lonely computer
programmer who has been emotionally scarred by a series of bad relationships,
and horrifying dates. Being the desperate man that he is, Steve turns to a mail
order service after seeing a commercial on TV advertising a PC-2000. The
Personal Concubine 2000 is a state of the art love doll that programs itself by
watching x-rated movies. After watching the late-night infomercial, Steve is
easily persuaded to purchase a PC-2000 in an effort to end his recent streak of
loneliness. Steve's dreams of companionship are temporarily shattered when
his new doll appears to be nothing more than a stitched-together corpse.
Horrified at first, rather than spend another minute alone, Steve decides to
keep her and attempt to make the most out of the situation. Steve quickly
learns the PC-2000 is capable of learning more than just intimate acts and
matters take a turn for the worse after the doll is accidentally exposed to an
all-night horror movie marathon.
If you didn't enjoy reading that entire plot paragraph then you must be really
hard to please. Mail Order Bride is a great short, I enjoyed it from start to
finish. From the very beginning I was attached to the story. Reading the
synopsis for the first time was enough for me to have interest. It's a simple yet
predictable tale about a man who resorts to purchasing a humanoid love doll.
You have to be honest here, you know what's going to happen. Does that
make it a bad movie? Of course not. Mail Order Bride was well written and
features a great cast of characters. There's even another cool cameo from
director David Quitmeyer. Only this time it's quick and he doesn't have a
speaking part. Actually wait, he does have a speaking part. I just remeered,
David also plays Dr. Phobia, the cool loud mouth host in the movie. The
concept of Mail Order Bride is great. I think that's why I was so attached to it.
This short is like a modern day homage to the Universal classic 'The Bride of
Frankenstein'. I'm willing to bet that's where they got the idea from. Much like
Bride of Frankenstein, Mail Order Bride has its fair share of humor (and it
works). Some of the dialog is funny and the performance of Caroline Pierce
makes it all worth while.
The movie takes place in San Diego, and if you've watched Slaughter Disc you'll
notice right away that the movie was filmed in the same locations. Well when I
say same locations I mean the same apartment complex where Slaughter Disc
was filmed. So it's basically a familiar setting. Mail Order Bride also features
great visual effects and sound. As you've read in the synopsis the main
character ends up purchasing a PC-2000 online. The Personal Concubine 2000
comes with a lot of great features and when you go online to buy one you can
set it up the way you want to. You get to create the ideal woman for you. It's
every man's fantasy and it sucks to say that you only get to see this in the
movies. Well, a man can still dream right? Anyways, back to the story. Once
received you have to charge your PC-2000 into an outlet. Once fully charged
you get to program the PC-2000 by showing it your favorite pornos. You
attach the goggles onto them and they learn as they watch. Very similar to
updating a home computer.
Mail Order Bride is a modern day creature feature pic that has just about
everything. The story is great story, enjoyable and fun. The actors behind it
were fantastic. The humor is good and perfectly timed. I enjoyed it and didn't
have any complaints. Actually I do have one complaint, but I'll get to that in a
minute. The movie has an expected outcome and it wont be too hard to guess.
But it's not a bad thing, the movie itself is entertaining all around. I would love
to see this as a full feature sometime in the future. I think that was my only
complaint, the movie is thirty six minutes long. I enjoyed the movie so much
that I was craving for more. Although thirty six minutes was enough to tell the
story, I didn't want it to end so soon. I'm dying to see what Steel Web Studios
is going to bring us next. Perhaps we'll even get to see a Mail Order Bride
sequel (well at least that's what I'm hoping for). Steel Web Studios has done it
again. They brought another great picture that's entertaining from start to
finish. Mail Order Bride is a short horror movie that I recommend seeing. It's a
lot of fun trust me.
Online since: February 20th, 2006
Review done by: Nightmare Child