Genres: Action,
Adventure, Fantasy

Rated: PG-13

Country: USA

Year: 2008

Runtime: 112 minutes

Studio: Universal Pictures

Review done by: Serial McKiller
Starring: Brendan Fraser, Jet Li, Maria Bello, Michelle Yeoh, John Hannah

Director: Rob Cohen

Synopsis: In the Far East, trouble-seeking father-and-son duo Rick and Alex
O'Connell unearth the mummy of the first Emperor of Qin -- a shape-shifting
entity who was cursed by a wizard centuries ago.


Finally, here is a film this year that I can go behind saying this and truly
feeling it: 'The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor' is a film that's so bad
you should go see it. I don't think bad is the right word. Hold on...well...okay
we'll stick with bad. The thing about Mummy 3 is that (and this is a good
thing) it's so blatantly and shamelessly a lumbering noisy flick with a huge
learning disability, and that's almost perfectly okay. All of the ridiculousness is
almost acceptable because this movie is stupid as hell and knows it, and likes
it. Which differs from the ultra serious crap pictures of this year like '10,000
BC', 'Prom Night', 'The X-Files: I Want to Believe', 'Jumper' and quite a few
more. They could really learn from this 112 minute retard. This time around
Universal has enlisted the help of 'The Fast and the Furious' and 'xXx'
director Rob Cohen to take over for series writer/director Stephen Sommers
who's working on 'G.I. Joe' and has an executive producer credit.

I've never been a big fan of Cohen. I can't stand 'Fast and the Furious', I
hated 'Daylight' and 'Stealth' and I can sometimes stomach 'xXx' and
'Dragon Heart' if in the right mood. Here Cohen jumps around invoking
everything from Disney. Wanna be funny moments to attempting Michael Bay
style action sequences which aren't cut nearly well enough for that. The
plot...the glorious plot to this film is as crazy as can be. Many centuries ago
the Dragon Emperor attempted to conquer all of China, but wanted the
world. He gets cursed along with his army and end up getting raised by a
ruthless Chinese general hell bent on doing what he sent out to do, but just
in China. Rick O'Connell, though having retired ends up getting sucked in the
whole thing along with his wife Evey (now played by Maria Bello instead of
Rachel Weisz).

We meet their now adult son who's taking up questing and opening tombs
and what not. Anyways the mummy is raised and from then on out it's a mad
dash to the finish line full of mummies, shape-shifting, yeti's, ninja's, three
headed dragons, and some furry creature that could be a rip off of the
educational, forgien language speaking VHS series 'Muzzy', or one of the
monsters from 'Where the Wild Things Are' or 'Shadow of Collosas'. Now all
this is done in a super silly way much like old cheap sci-fi mash up movies
where the Wolfman met Martians or Frankenstein met Robin Hood. Really,
really dumb things which have no substance, but cool stuff happens all the
same. Except with this there's a lot of surprisingly good CGI. Much better
than how it all looks on the trailers.

But all this begs the question, how much is too much? Fraser is a one man
drinking game. Everybody take a shot after he delivers a cheesy zinger or
one liner. He looks awkward riding in a car with people because he's like the
size of three normal sized human beings. Maria Bello played Evey a little too
over the top. However her getting in on the action worked better than Weisz
doing so in the second Mummy film. And as much as I love Weisz for her
work, I do hold a torch of Maria Bello a slight bit more. Not just as an
actress, but generally for all her work in 'A History of Violence'. If you saw
that movie then you know what I speak of. Jet Li was mainly CGI that could
speak Chinese and use the force...ehh....his special mummy powers to
control the elements and do very magical type of stuff. Not to mention how
the yeti's and dragon's and all that crap all come into play here.

I wanted to give this a seal of recommendation just for being this
unflinchingly dumb, but I just can't do it because it's maybe a little too dumb.
Even for this type of movie. Can I say it's worth spending matinée money on
it though? Sure. It is worth some laughs...not for the jokes so much, but for
the ridiculous shit that's in it. And some of the action sequences are pretty
impressive in their extreme nature. The final battle of the mummy armies has
it's charms. But the fact is this is a fairly tired sequel and a tired franchise
that, like it's original mummy villain doesn't seem to want to stay dead. But
there was no REAL need for this and if there was going to be a third film,  
something slightly more interesting and less retarded, could've been devised.

Overall: 6/10
Online since: February 20th, 2006
Hosted by:  Yahoo!
Home Page - Plug Me! - Icons of Fright - Amazon - Last Doorway Productions - Youtube - Myspace